Getting Back Into The Dating Game After Divorce. By: Demetria Buie

Dating Again After Divorce
Divorce is among the most traumatic experiences; however, it does not mean you will never have a companion again. Dating after a divorce is cool, everyone deserves to be happy. However, many people find it hard to get back to the dating world.  Some people get ready to date right after a divorce while others take a very long time. it all depends on a person’s resilience, anxieties, ability to handle the emotions, and the support system available. Nevertheless, in all circumstances, you need to let the past go and get ready to start fresh. Here are some great tips to help you start dating again after a divorce.
Contemplate whether it is the right time
After a divorce, you cannot predict a person’s reaction towards dating, some people wait while others jump back to the dating pool right away. However, the best thing is taking your time, grieve, and heal completely before you start afresh.  Your close friends may push you to date but that does not mean you are ready. Pay attention to your feelings; are you still mad at your ex or are you still thinking you could have saved your broken marriage? These are common thoughts and means you are not ready yet. Have patience with yourself and before you know it, you will be ready to move on even without keeping track.
Embrace the fear
Many people fear the unknown after a divorce. Dating is usually important to many before divorce but becomes foreign and scary after a divorce. It is normal to be nervous and therefore takes a lot of courage. Maybe you have been together with your ex for a long time to an extent dating feels wired or unnatural. All this is because of the fear of the unknown, the best thing is to
embrace the fear, it will help you in self-acceptance. Always introduce yourself as a single lady or guy, mingle naturally with other single when possible people, and the fear will slowly fade out even without knowing.
Do not get desperate
Dating after a divorce may raise some unsettling feeling that you end up clinging to the first person meet. Other people may confuse being ready and desperation, do not rush things because your ex has already moved on, take a step after the other. Slow down and get to know different people before you settle. In fact, the idea of being all over the first person you meet may scare them away. In case you feel the urge to rush, take a deep breath, and remind yourself you are not in for a relationship just like any other, you want a perfect relationship.
Today, times have changed as so is dating. If you were married long ago before the introduction of online dating you may not have any experience in online dating. Online dating is the trend today and you should not shy away from it, allow yourself to change with time in everything. Ask around which are the best sites and do not forget to take the right precautions which connecting to people online.
In conclusion, dating after marriage is cool, in fact, everybody deserves to be in a happy relationship. Therefore, do not shy away. However, it is important to ensure you do it the right way, you do not want to make the same mistakes. Take a step at a time, get ready, and finally, you will get there!
I couldn’t even pray..
You have to get back up. It’s okay to talk to someone. Please talk to someone you trust. Talk to a Therapist or Counselor. It’s okay. You can’t keep all of what you feel balled up inside. Most of all talk to God. Plus it’s okay to go around in the house letting it all out.
After my 2nd Divorce. I went into a Deep depression. Depression is real. It took 4 weeks to get out the bed. Getting sick in the process. I blamed myself for so much. I couldn’t bare of thinking that I would be on my 3rd marriage.
I couldn’t feel no one holding me… I couldn’t feel my body, mind, or soul….! I had given up. I literally thought I wasn’t gonna going to make it.
I needed help!! Lord… I needed you more than anything!!
Getting back up wasn’t easy. I’m not gonna lie and tell you it was. My body was healing from pain. Listen…! I had to think of why & who I was living for. I got back up and getting up hurted. But I knew God had a plan for my life & I had a purpose & others needed healing from my story so God can get the Glory!! I had to get out & Live.
Joy will come early in the morning!! Jesus you are my Sunshine.
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